I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize