We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Randomize