Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize