stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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