I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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