Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
