One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
