I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
