I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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