Don't make out with my wife yet
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think weed is turning my hair brown
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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