i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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