We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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