i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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