My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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