found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
