I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize