My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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