Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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