Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
