shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
