I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
