gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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