i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
