He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
