My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
