I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
