Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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