He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
