Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
