Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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