I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
