the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
