Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
