oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
