The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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