college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
