I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
sarcasm needs its own font
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
