reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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