it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
