I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
