I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize