don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
