quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
