Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
