another moral hangover. fuck.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
