something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
