Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
