he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
