part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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