so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
