i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
