she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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