Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
