Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
