i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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