i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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