Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize