Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize