Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
