Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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