She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
