I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
